Breakfast at Lani's

Blades of Glory

I may not have known about Soylent Green, but last weekend was my turn to drop-a-jaw and be shocked. It started off with regular friendly sports banter; I knock football, Dex knocks hockey, and we end it with a few playful punches. It's a barrel of laughs, believe me, Abbott and Costello got nothing on us.

To be honest, I really have nothing against football, it looks like a fun game and I give those NFL players mad props for rockin' 80's spandex on national television, that's just awesome. The thing is, where I'm from, football really isn't a big deal. I didn't grow up watching it, and I couldn't tell you the difference between a wingback, a slotback or a quarterback, though I'm pretty sure one of those is Tom Brady, and I'm pretty sure he's the guy who dumped his pregnant girlfriend (Bridget Monaghan) and immediately started dating ex-Victoria Secret supermodel Giselle (he's like the David Beckham of football, and that's the only reason I know him). Anyhow, I always assumed that Dex's mockery of hockey was in jest, naturally he had some sort of appreciate for the sport.

I was wrong, folks.

Dex: Hockey players don't even have to run! All they do is slide back and forth down the ice!

Me: Pffttt...and what about football players? Between the rare times that they actually run, all they do is stand around shouting and staring at the butt in front of them. And excuse me, but  "sliding" as you call it, is pretty hard, especially at the speeds they're going.

Dex: I doubt that.

It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I had been rather presumptuous. Could it be possible that Dex had no idea how hard it was to play a sport on skates? Maybe. I don't know. Why didn't I know this?

Me: ...wait a second...have you ever been skating?

Dex: No. In fact, I don't think I've even touched a skate in real life.

Me: (jaw drops) Whaaaaa???

Dex: Listen, Canada (a nickname he calls me when he's feeling competitive), unlike where you're from, ice rinks are far and few between in Seattle, and it's not like we have frozen ponds in our backyards.

At this point I'm laughing, not because I think it's hilarious that he's never skated before, but because of the sheer arrogance! Hey, I may have never played on my high school football team (we didn't have one), but I can honestly say I've given the ol'pig skin a toss or two. ALL this time he's been mocking my Canucks and yet he's never been skating? The nerve.

Me: That's it. Tomorrow, we go skating.

We found a rink in Renton.  He wasn't kidding when he said they were far and few. Back home in St.Olaf, we have 9 rinks available for public skate and hockey.

The next day, Dex put on his first pair of skates. It was a proud moment for me. I wept a little.

We, of course, exchanged some competitive banter which ultimately ended with me predicting he would come out of this with nothing but a sore butt and a bruised ego. Dex disagreed and swore to me that he would, in no way, let himself fall down.

I hate it when I'm wrong. I really do.

In an hour and a half, Dex didn't fall once. There were a few close calls, but to be fair, they were most likely caused by me; I was standing in his path while trying to film him, example:  Click Here

I have to admit, I'm not entirely convinced that he had never been skating before. Either he forgot that he learned as a child, or skating really IS that easy to learn. Granted we weren't experimenting with  triple axels or one-foot salchows, but after an hour and a half, he was going pretty darn fast: Click Here (again, I got in his way).

What about you? Have you ever been skating? And which sport is harder, football or hockey? It might not be a fair comparison, but come on! Just for shits 'n giggles - let's hear it.

"This is the sun's anvil."

It's hot.

For the last 4 days it's been 32°C (that's 89.6°F for you Fahrenheit affectionados). I realize that for some of you this is nothing to write-blog about, but you have to realize, for those of us who live in the pacific north west, anything over 20°C (68°F) calls for beach balls, Frisbees & iced tea. I can't recall the last time it was this hot in May.

Yesterday, Dex and I decided we should go outside and "enjoy the sun".

Pfft...Apparently we didn't get the memo reminding us that we're computer nerds who spend the majority of our days crammed in a dark cold room, contemplating the best way to optimize flux capacitors and dilithium crystals. We are not sun babies. In fact, the last time we were in extreme heat together was last September in Orlando, Florida. I believe the only words to come out of my mouth for a solid two hours were, "It's fracking hot. I hate this weather. Why does the sun have to be so damn hot?. I'm sweaty! I'm starting to smell a litle ripe!"

I wouldn't classify myself as a whiner per say, but cast a little heatwave my way, and I'll put my soon-to-be stepdaughter's whining to shame.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love the outdoors. I love being outside and in nature. I would just prefer doing it without reenacting a scene from Lawrence of Arabia.

So that being said, Dex and I decided to spend the day at the Redmond Farmers Market. It started off as a really dynamite idea. Fresh fruit, veggies, honey, flowers...I could quite literally spend all day walking through the maze of colourful and fragrant flowers and fruits.

Dudes. I can't even begin to describe how hot it was. I was sweating from parts of my body that I didn't even know HAD sweat glands.

We left the market with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a ton of pictures and a mild case of heat stroke.

If your community has a farmers market, I highly suggest you go. Not only are the prices amazing, everything is (usually) organic. My only suggestion would be to bring a hat. A big one.

Kickin' it on the 8 mile

I am so tired right now that I am lying down and dictating this post to my computers voice recognition writer.  I've never done this before because I've always been a bit skeptical of this technology, but I must say, Microsoft is a dynamite typist; I may never use my hands again.

Why am I so tired? Perhaps it's because summer is approaching, or maybe it's because we recently watched Into the Wild, all I can say is that at some point this past weekend, Dex and I thought it would be a super idea to take an 8 mile stroll up and down a mountain.

We decided early on in our realtionship that every Sunday is our "date day".  Meaning, every Sunday we pick a different outdoor activity for just the two of us.  Last Friday I suggested we go for a walk on a nice trail, not a freaking 8 mile hike up a moutain. Dex was enthusiastic and immediately began goggling local trails.

Him: I found us a trail!

Me: Awesometown. Where?

Him: Mount Si.

Me: I'm sorry... Mount? As in...mountain?

Him: (nods) Looks good. I say we go.

Mount Si Statistics
Distance: 8 mi r/t
Time: 5-6h r/t
Elevation Gain in: 3100 ft
Elevation Gain out: 0 ft
Trailhead Elevation: 500 ft
Maximum Elevation: 3600 ft
Translation: 2.5 hours hiking up a 20% incline, and 2 hours stumbling down a hill.

You know, the funny thing is, for a second I completely forgot who I was talking to. Dex is the type of guy who no matter how hard or difficult something is, he will complete it. Doesn't matter if he's fallen and can't get up, come hell or high water that man will finish what he set out to accomplish! Me? I'm much better at assessing the situation before committing to it. Case in point, Dex forgot to mention that this trail was rated: More Difficult. Had I known, I would have said, "No way, Jose", and opted for something along the lines of Easy or Flat.

Oh well. Live and learn.

I snapped a picture of the map. Check out our journey.

We don't have a dog, so this sign really dosen't apply to us, but I had to share it, if only because it made us laugh so hard.

According to the mountain's website the base lot is designed to hold 175 cars and includes a  state-of-the-art outhouse. Here is the "state-of-the-art" outhouse. If only this picture captured the smell. There was nothing state-of-the-art about this outhouse. Trust me.

The "walk" started off lovely. In fact, here is an adorable photo from early on in our journey (when I still had energy to hold up the camera).

This picture is about 2.5 miles into the hike. Yes, that is snow. No, we were not prepared for snow. I thought I had taken some pictures earlier on in the trail when there was, you know, dirt to walk on, but I guess not.

We made it!

Dex, conquering the mountain and overlooking North Bend. It's very difficult to make out in the picture, but way off in the distance is Seattle.

The trip down was twice as hard. It was steep, icy and I spent the majority of it sliding down on my butt.  I'm pretty sure I left sections L1-through-L5 of my spine on that mountain because I currently have no feeling in my lumbar region.

Despite the pain, it was a beautiful day and I would certainly do it again. Just maybe not right away.