Breakfast at Lani's

This time I mean it, really.

Greeting from Austin, Texas!

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm still alive. I promise regular posting will be back in full effect just as soon as I get settled into my new job.

New job, you ask? Why yes!

I started a new job two weeks ago and have been training in Austin ever since. What a place this is! Its absolutely gorgeous! Last week was toasty warm (70-80 degrees), the sun was shinning, the hills were rolling and I thought to myself, "I may have to spend every winter in Texas." That was, until this week came around.

Not impressed, Texas. Not impressed at all.

It's currently 34 degrees.

I spent 25 minutes yesterday scrapping the windows of my car with a credit card because, apparently, rental cars don't come equipped with ice scrappers. I think I actually saw an Austiner drive by while mouthing the words, "Poor Shmuck!"  My Nothern Pride just about died. "No, no, no, no!" I shouted back while waving my credit card in the air, "I'm from Canada, this is nothing!! Really!! I'm not as unprepared as you think!"

Oh well...as I learned in my homeland, the quickest way to a warm belly is wine (well, actually, it's beer, but that sounds so unsophisticated). And tonight I shall do just that! I shall warm my belly with some vino. This evening I'm driving downtown to meet up with the one and only Izzy Rose . If you don't know who Izzy Rose is...k, well...first of all if you don't know who she is then you  obviously haven't been reading my blog very long and second, you will be WAY cooler if you do know her. Izzy runs Stepmother's Milk, an incredibly well written, witty, intelligent, thoughful and sassy blog site/step-mom community. Izzy also has a book coming out this May! It's called, The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamourous Transition from Single Gal to Instant mom. Stepmoms - if you haven't done so already, I highly suggest you pre-order - this ones gunna fly off the shelves. 

I look forward to giving my fellow stepmommy's a full recap of the evening (especially since I know they're secretly jealous that I get to meet Ms. Izzy Rose - tee hee).

Party Pooper

I have often referred to my current city of residence as Stepford. I think the name speaks for itself and requires little to no explanation. To be fair, my "city" (it should really be called a town) isn't quite as disturbing as the zombie-like fictional town of Stepford, Connecticut and its fawning, submissive, and impossibly beautiful wives. And I feel I should mention that, unlike Stepford men, my husband is not a member of a men's robotics club. Dex is a brilliant engineer but I do doubt his capabilities of creating a Lani look-alike gynoid.

Disclaimer aside, there are some definite similarities. I realize this is a touchy subject. Nobody wants to hear anyone dissing their hometown and I really don't want to be dooced from the soccer mom circle for spilling the beans, but I think it's important to know that every now and them I will be writing a post about things I find kinda creepy about my new home town . 

Let me begin this series of observations by first stating that I am convinced that the Stepford school district is determined to rip all the fun out of all holiday festivities. Take this email as an example, sent to us by my step-daughters 1st grade teacher:

For this party, the children are allowed to bring their Halloween costumes to school (this is, of course, optional).  Please do not send your child to school wearing the costume.  

Please send your child's costume in a labeled bag.  

Please keep your child's costume simple and easy to put on; your child will need to slip his/her costume on over his/her school clothes.  

Children will take their costumes off after the party.

We request that no make-up be sent for this occasion.  

I would also like to remind you that costumes modeling fear or violence, such as toy weapons, stay at home.  

In addition, since this party is a class function, we would appreciate childcare arrangements made for younger siblings.  I thank you, in advance, for your understanding.  

Well shit. While we're at it, why don't we just confine trick or treating to the various knock-able doors in our home. I realize that some of you may agree with teacher's request but I. For one. Do not. 

Some of my fondest memories of elementary school revolve around holiday parties. I get that warm and fuzzy feeling when I reminisce about waking up extra early to put on my costume. I spent hours looking through my mom's makeup bag, desperately seeking the perfect shade of blue eyeshadow. Makeup was a huge part of the costume, I mean, how was I supposed to own a line like,  "I am Adora. He-Man's twin sister and the defender of the Crystal Castle", without the perfect shade of blue and gloss?

It was serious, ya'll.

For one day out of the year I was allowed to dress up, go to school and embody the Princess of Power...there was none of this "put your costume over your clothes" bologna. In fact, my 1st grade halloween party was so memorable that I can still remember the feeling of having my heart broken when Superman (or John Lee, when he wasn't rocking the superhero attire) told me he couldn't hold my hand because She-ra had nothing on Lois Lane. Unlucky for him my She-ra costume came equipped with a sick glow-in-the-dark sword, which I then used to stab him in the kidney. I suppose this could be used to backup teach's argument that no "weapons" should be brought to class but I wouldn't exactly say that the sword modeled fear or violence! Every child in that class knew it was a symbol of the mystical power of Grayskull. John had it comin'. She-ra is way cooler than Lois Lane.

Have all schools adopted this cold, scheduled, rushed one-hour party process, or is this just another Stepford trait?